Courage Starts With Showing Up and Letting Ourselves Be Seen

26. March 2013 · 2 comments · Categories: Books, I'm Doing It Right! · Tags: , , , , , , ,

The Universe brought Brene Brown into my life many times before last Sunday, but I didn’t listen because I wasn’t ready then. I pushed away the notion that I should read some of what Brown has to say because I was afraid. I knew enough about Brown’s work as a vulnerability and shame researcher to be afraid to read her books or listen to her powerful message. Vulnerability? No thanks. Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. The thought of letting myself be vulnerable in front of others terrifies me and makes me uncomfortable.

Why? Because the message that has been taught to me over & over by well-meaning (but wrong) people in my life is that being vulnerable is a weakness and that wearing armor is a strength. That when I cry (which, yes, I kind of do a lot & openly), I’m making others feel uncomfortable. Crying, to them, is something to be done rarely and in private. Keeping emotions inside is safe and brave and the right, courteous thing to do. These are the messages I’ve carried in my head for 35 years.

But I’m done now. (This is what I am doing right.)

Upon watching Brene Brown on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday (part one), I purchased Daring Greatly and read 20% of it in one sitting last weekend. I cried while I read it because so much of it hit home, beginning with the title of this post, which is a quote from Daring Greatly and the prompt for this post today.

It’s been a while since I wrote from the gut here and let myself really be seen. I’m going to change that. I’m going to allow myself to be vulnerable in this space.

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

Have you read any of Brene Brown’s books? If so, which one(s) and what is your favorite quote or message?




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One of My Pregnancy Regrets

20. March 2013 · 2 comments · Categories: Ad-free sponsored, Baby time, Oops, the parenting club, Websites to look at · Tags: , , , , ,

When I was pregnant in 2008-2009, during one of my OBGYN visits, my provider asked my husband and me whether we were interested in cord blood banking. Being interested in science and healthcare, of course we were very interested, especially given the health status of some of our family members and the uncertainty of the future of anyone’s health. However, we had just bought a house months earlier and found ourselves in a tanking economy, complete with my husband’s job loss and my impending reduced paycheck during a 12-week maternity leave. Can you say scary?? There were moments in my pregnancy when I didn’t think I could afford to have a baby, let alone bank his cord blood.

It isn’t cheap, but it’s something we should have invested in. Looking back, I now wish I’d thrown the expense on my credit card. It would have been paid off by now, and I wouldn’t have this regret in my gut.

Through cord blood banking, you can collect and preserve potentially lifesaving stem cells, and doing so could one day save the life of your child or a blood relative. You can bank even more stem cells by collecting them from two usable sources of stem cell-rich blood: the umbilical cord and the placenta. This service is called Placental and Cord Blood Banking, and it’s available only from LifebankUSA.

The ability of stem cells to save lives via cord blood banking has proven successful for replacing abnormal or diseased cells, and treating life-threatening blood disorders such as leukemia, lymphoma, and myeloma.  In fact, since 1988 stem cell transplants have been used to treat some 80 diseases.

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Like I said, I regret that we did not think more about how we could have banked Jackson’s cord blood and placenta tissue. Every parent, I’m sure, has his or her regrets when it comes to the birth of their firstborn. This is one of my biggies.

So if you are pregnant or thinking about having children eventually, I hope you’ll visit LifeBankUSA’s website and learn more. Throw it on a credit card if you must. It’s that important.

LifeBankUSA is having a contest on their Facebook page that runs until midnight on 4/30/13. You can visit the page and enter the contest here: www.facebook.com/lifebankusa. They’re giving away THREE top rated, Britax Marathon 70-G3 Convertible Car Seats in a random drawing. The value of each car seat is $231.99. Winners will be notified the week after the contest ends.

Thanks for reading! Good luck in the contest!

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, but all opinions–and regrets–are completely my own. Please check out LifeBankUSA. :)

Today, We Celebrate

10. March 2013 · 2 comments · Categories: My happiness project · Tags: , , ,

Today, my friend A’Driane is marrying her love, Bert, in the cutest chapel I’ve ever seen.

 

Isn’t it gorgeous?

I’ve compiled some of the things A’Driane has said on her blog about her feelings for Bert into a poem to honor this day. I’ve used A’Driane’s words because they’re as beautiful as she is.

Bloom

My heart just swells with a joy I haven’t allowed myself to feel in a very, very long time,

Dancing, laughing, smiling…I’m giving myself fully to the freedom,

Starting over and changing our approach to life…choosing to live life instead of just surviving it,

The gift of love I’ve found in our family,

Embraced with open arms & a bottle of Merlot,

To have someone see the value and worth I see in myself and decide to embrace and cherish it, cherish me, is the one gift I’ve begged for since I was a child and never received-until now.

Bloom where you are planted.

Reach toward the sun, like I am.

A’Driane, my wish for you and Bert today is that you always see the sunshine together. Congratulations on your wedding day. Xo

(Note: Other friends of A’Driane and Bert have also devoted blog posts to the celebration of their wedding day. You can access links to all of the posts here.)

 

Angry Toddler Hates Hyphens!

20. February 2013 · 3 comments · Categories: Play!, Toddlerhood · Tags: , , , , , ,

Nothing makes me happier than Jackson’s recent curiosity about the alphabet and how to spell ALL THE WORDS. Actually, that isn’t true. Last night, he surprised me by getting very angry over a hyphen. It was the cutest thing. Look for me on Vine (as jamesandjax) or scroll to the bottom of this post if you want to see 6 adorable seconds of Jax getting upset over it (he doesn’t want letters to move, whatever that means). He takes his punctuation very seriously–as we all should!

We often play a “game” (it’s really more of an educational app) on the iPad called Endless ABCs while I make dinner after work. It is the greatest toddler app I’ve downloaded yet, and if you have a toddler and an iPhone or iPad, I highly recommend you check out this fun app. The app takes Jax through each letter of the alphabet with adorable fuzzy monsters who act out the word being spelled, after Jax drags the letters onto the outline of the word. Not only do the letters make the sound when you touch them, the narrator also defines the word once it’s been spelled out. According to the app (although we have yet to experience this), the words also change with increased use.

So last night I was making a fancy dinner of fish and chips while Jax played with the app, and when he got to the letter X and the inevitable x-ray, he asked me to come help him. He was confused by the hyphen in the word, having never seen a hyphen before. So I explained to him some of what I know about hyphens–which is a lot, given my day job as an editor. I’m not a huge fan of hyphens and usually eliminate them unless they are absolutely necessary as determined by Webster’s.

Yet I tried to be fair and unbiased as I explained appropriate hyphenation to my 3 year old. (<— Look, ma! No hyphens!)

Apparently Jax isn’t a fan, either. When he didn’t appreciate my explanation of why the hyphen is necessary, as deemed by both Webster’s and Endless ABCs, in the word x-ray, he angrily yelled that he didn’t want to play Endless ABCs anymore. Then he pressed the Home button on the iPad and began sulking in that typical toddler way.

He hasn’t gone back to the app yet. I think he’s going to need some time to heal. I’m hoping that the next time he opens it, we’ll have a different–unhyhpenated–X word! Like xlophone or xenon!

 

I’m Doing It Right: The Self-Confidence Edition

18. February 2013 · 1 comment · Categories: I'm Doing It Right!, My happiness project · Tags: , ,

For this week’s I’m Doing It Right bloghop, I’m cheating a little and projecting what I anticipate to do well this week–building my self-confidence and decreasing my negativity, in order to go after the things I want for myself. And there are a few things I want, currently. Not that I can delve into them here, in this public space. (Apologies for the vagueness.)

I think focusing on the positive, and banishing negative thoughts, is the key for me. I have a constant running tape in my head that tells me I’m not going to get what I want and that I never get what I deserve–even though deep down I know I shouldn’t use the word “never.” It’s an awful thing to listen to, and it’s a liar! It’s a self-defense mechanism, though, and one that’s going to be tough for me to change.

When I want something badly enough, I start telling myself a) I don’t really want it, b) it’s silly to want it, and c) it’s not going to happen anyway because I never get what I want. Then if I decide to take the risk of going after the thing I want, I immediately start preparing myself mentally for the inevitable disappointment. It’s all so instantaneous–I typically don’t allow myself to enjoy the feeling of wanting a thing or imagine what it would be like to have the thing.

This goes against my spiritual side, which actually believes in the power of positive thinking & in trusting the Universe, etc. I simply am no good at optimism. And then I say something like that and I feel bad about myself! But it’s true–I think I was born without the optimism gene! So it’s a constant struggle for me to tone down the negative self-talk, but I do think it is possible with some concentrated effort.

It’s so fun being me.  :)

So this week I’m going to plunge into that concentrated effort to chill out with the negative self-talk, the pessimism, the catastrophizing, the “it’s-never-gonna-happen” attitude. You know what? If it doesn’t happen, then I’ll find a new way to try again to make it happen! I may be negative, but I’m not lazy.

It’s something I like a lot about myself. I’m no quitter.

Hey, look at that–I just complimented myself! Which is confidence buildilng, is it not?

Maybe this is the start of something good for me.

Whoa, would you look at that?! It’s optimism!

I’m going to ride this wave of optimism by spending a few moments visualizing all the good things that are about to happen to me! Will report back…


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