It’s Friday! Time for some reflection!

Life With Baby Donut
 

1. I’m struggling. There, I said it. Work changes have me a little frantic from 8-5, M-F. At home, there’s the mini-vacation last weekend/early this week (and all the packing) plus my husband going out of town soon plus the usual (endless) chores and errands just to keep things running. Add in some teething (2-year molars, I hate you!) and a few colds (is it that time of year again so soon?) just to keep things interesting, and this is my life in a nutshell.

Busy.

2. I was away at the shore for 5 days. I came back to 300 blog posts in my reader, 60 spam comments, a few hundred emails, and several Facebook messages to respond to. And that’s not including work stuff.

Ouch.

3. I’m still catching up. I barely have time, though. I’m drowning in it.

4. The thing is, I really miss tweeting with my favorites (and I hope they know this). I wish I had time to watch my friend’s first vlog. I want to meet up with some girlfriends for coffee or wine. There are even a few movies I want to see and too many shows piling up on my DVR. I crave some downtime. And yes, I realize I just had some, at the beach, for 5 days.

5. But it’s not enough. Greedy? Yeah, maybe. But this being a working mother thing is damn hard. There’s not enough time in the day for everything I’m trying to juggle. I need an 8th day in my week. A day just for me to chat online, read blogs, grab a bottle of wine with friends, soak in a bubble bath, you name it.

6. I’m going to start a petition to get an 8th day. Just as soon as I can find the time…

Thanks to Rachana’s post today on Life with Baby Donut, I read devoured this post on Mama’s Monologues and want to share it with you. It perfectly, eloquently expresses what I’m feeling. Go read it!

 

Linking up with Rach again! I really love this blog hop & would love to read what you’ve learned this week, so please consider playing along!

 

Life With Baby Donut
 

1. I can’t prepare for everything. In the past week and a half, we’ve been hit with tornado warnings, a hurricane, and an earthquake. I’ve done my best to prepare however possible, but I know I would fall short if ever there were a true emergency, especially if it lasts longer than the jugs of water & flashlight batteries I’ve stockpiled do.

2. As if preparing for natural disasters isn’t enough on my plate, I have to prepare (pack) for our 5-day mini-vacation at the beach, which begins not soon enough tomorrow. I haven’t traveled with Jax yet, so I’m kind of reeling from the enormity of this task. What does a harried mother with very little time to pack throw in a suitcase for a toddler for 5 days? How will I keep him entertained at a non-baby-proofed shore house for that long? Do I FedEx the toys there, or can I possibly cram them all in my little car?

3. I’d better enjoy the vacay (do you hear me, Mother Nature???), because as soon as I get back to work on Thursday, shit gets serious again fast. My assistant has accepted a promotion, meaning we will no longer be working together in a few weeks. I’m ecstatic for her (it was time for her to move on up), but I’m groaning on the inside–this means weeks of interviews, then months of training. Ouch. And I have a work trip later this month–during a weekend. Double ouch.

4. I’ve done exceptionally well, if I must say so myself (and that seems to be the case), juggling being a toddler’s mom and a working gal. Yes, it’s insane at times, with the packing multiple lunches every morning, finding time to do errands and chores and still play with the boy and have time leftover for self-care, and the working momma guilt (especially when daycare dropoffs produce rivers of tears).  But I’ve handled it well, for the most part. I think I’ve managed to be good enough awesome in all of my roles–mommy, employee, wife. Well, that wife one is up for debate. Sorry, dear.

5. Til this week. This week is killing me. Maybe it’s because I’ve had tremendous stress the past few weeks (see #1 above. and #2. and #3.) and very little time for bubble baths. My muscles are tense. My neck aches. So does my head. My sleep has been erratic, and I’ve had many weird dreams. To top it all off, Jackson’s sleep has also been erratic (awesome one night, awful the next) and he’s teething. “Those 2-year molars are coming in, baby! Brace yourself!” is what the Universe has been screaming at me all week. Teething = poor sleep = crankiness = clinginess = wanting to nurse like crazy = CRANKY MOMMA IN DESPERATE NEED OF A BUBBLE BATH & A BUCKET OF WINE. And it doesn’t help that I haven’t had as much time as I’d like to connect with my bloggy besties online. You girls keep me sane & I miss reading your blogs, commenting, and tweeting.

6. Thank goodness for lunch breaks. There is a park 5 minutes from my work. I have a Kindle. You do the math.

And on that note, I’m out. It’s time to cram in 20 minutes of relaxation at the park.

Note: As I’ve mentioned 1,394 times in the past week or so, I’ll be on vacation for the next few days. But no worries–I’ve lined up a few special guests to keep you entertained while I’m away. Hope you enjoy your weekend!

 

Here’s what I learned this week:

1. I have crazy amounts of energy and ambition for someone who sleeps the way I do (read: barely, piecemeal, with a kid and a dog practically on top of me).

2. Except today. Today, after the whopping hour of sleep I got last night (well, this morning, really), I am fatigued beyond fatigued. I do not know how I will get through this day, which includes going to work, doing chores, and then going to a ball game tonight.

3. If I were a braver person, I’d insert a photo of my eyes today and the pretty purple circles they’re sporting, just to show you what exhaustion looks like. Purple is such a lovely color, unless it’s underneath your eyes.

4. Jax has even more energy than his momma, which is also surprising given how he sleeps (read: piecemeal). Suddenly, he is a little ball of energy! And he’s eating much better, too. It’s bizarre. Why isn’t he tired, after all the running around he’s doing?! I get tired just watching him!

5. People are starting to urge me to talk to his pediatrician to look for a deeper problem, a reason for his poor sleep.

6. That freaks me out a bit. I assume the pediatrician will lecture me or put him through invasive tests (eg, for allergies?), or both.

7. So before heading down that road, I think I will start keeping a food/sleep diary to try to figure things out on my own first. I have a great track record when it comes to solving my son’s issues on my own.

8. Maybe his 2-year molars are starting to bother him. The last time we had this kind of stretch of awful sleep was when his 1-year molars were starting to erupt. That caused 7 weeks of mostly bad nights. Note to self: Try ibuprofen one night & see if it helps.

9. I’m jealous of parents who get a good night’s sleep. I need to stop tweeting and posting on Facebook about our awful nights of sleep so that I don’t get comments about how great others’ kids are sleeping. That does not help. Read this.

10. Jax is too old to be waking up so frequently through the night. And so am I! This momma needs her beauty sleep. Or some amazing makeup to fake it.

11. I haven’t nursed him to sleep in a few weeks now, so I’m leary of those who tell me, accusingly, that breastfeeding is the root of our trouble. I nurse him in the glider a bit, then we kiss goodnight and he falls asleep without the breast. And when he wakes up in the middle of the night, most of the time, we snuggle instead of nurse. Unless I’m desperate to get back to sleep quickly, in which I tend to cave in and nurse him back to sleep.

12. This parenting this is so hard sometimes. It’s harder when you’re tired. But it’s still the most wonderful, fun, amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.

13. There is an upside to sleepless nights: Jax and I get to spend extra time together. Sometimes it’s nice to snuggle in the middle of the night. For like 10 minutes. Not for like 5 hours. Sigh.

14. Thank goodness for sleepovers at Nana’s. Tonight, that’s what’s up. Jax is spending the night with his Nana so that mommy & daddy can go hang out with friends at a baseball game. I am tempted to skip it, hit up a bottle of Tylenol PM, & go to bed at 8:00.

15. But my husband & friends wouldn’t like that. And really, who needs sleep anyway? Sleep is for sissies.

Link up & tell us what you’ve learned this week! If it’s anything to do with how to get your toddler to sleep through the night, I will love you forever.

Life With Baby Donut

Remember my post “Trying to Keep It Together” from early February? Jax was teething (3 of 4 canines were bulging through his gums) and sleep was a nightmare for a while then. Well…that 4th canine is now starting to erupt, and with this new round of teething coming so soon after daylight savings time (to which Jax is still adapting), I’m finding myself totally wiped out again. Down-to-my-bones tired. Eyes-burning tired. Need-caffeine-again tired. Cursing-my-nonsleep-deprived-husband tired. Making-embarrassing-mistakes-at-work tired. I think you get the picture.

I keep telling myself just to stay calm and think about all the nights of good sleep we’ve had recently (well, until DST happened) and that we’ll have again in the future. But it’s so darn hard when I’m nursing and rocking and consoling and nursing and rocking and consoling as if my 19-month-old is suddenly a newborn again. I wonder, is it better to have never slept well at all than to have slept well and then revert to bad sleep?

I need to focus on the good things before I really start to lose it, which tends to happen after about 5 nights of bad sleep. Things like spring, with its extra daylight, warm weather, and sudden flowers. Like upcoming days off from work and using them to do fun things. Like Easter egg hunts and baskets full of sweets. Like bubble baths with a good book and a glass of wine–and a locked door! Ahh, a locked bathroom door might be the thing that preserves my sanity while we get through yet another round of teething.

Please, 2-year-molars, take it easy on us when you decide to start poking through!

What are YOUR sanity preservers during rough times?

From my notebook of letters to Jax, this time last year. It’s interesting to read about Jackson’s nursing strike now that I’m a veteran breastfeeder! Gosh how I worried for days over it, and it turned out to be teething!

2/24/10

Jackson,

You know I love you, but you’re driving me nuts! I think getting your 6-month shots messed you all up, because you’re constantly refusing to nurse except at bedtime, for the most part. I’m trying not to take it to heart (and daddy keeps trying to convince me it’s only temporary), but man it hurts my feelings to be rejected 10x a day. I’m a mess, emotionally. I hope this is only a few days &then we’re back to not wrestling at every feeding. I miss my good, happy, always hungry little boy!

3/1/10

Jax,

Guess what happened yesterday? Your 1st tooth broke through your bottom gums! You were sitting on my lap, trying to chew on my fingers (as usual) and I felt the ridge of it. Sure enough, I could see the white line on your gums! It’s your bottom front left tooth. I’m so excited for you! (And scared for me & daddy.) What a big milestone! It probably explains the tossing and turning every night and your recent lack of an appetite. Poor little man!

Love,
Mommy

Mommy & Jax, Feb 2010