I’m trying something new. I’m writing through my anxiety as it’s happening and I’m planning to publish it, this stream-of-consciousness-while-anxious blather. Maybe it will help someone, maybe it will help me! I’ve never tried writing while anxious before, which is kind of shocking.
It’s raining some wintry mix at the moment. The drive to work, including the walk to the car, was treacherous because everything was covered in a sheet of ice. I’ve had caffeine, which is something I know better than to do but often can’t resist, so I made myself more prone to anxiety. And for no good reason, given that I can’t taste the difference between decaf and regular coffee!
A text alert from the credit monitoring service I signed up for when I received two different notices from two different companies that I was at risk for identity theft alerted me to a change in my credit report this morning. The alert, combined with the worry on the drive to work, has my heart thumping.
And there is a stack of articles on my desk, all of which will require hours of entering corrections and making PDFs to email to authors. I can’t go home until this is done. After this, there are still four items on today’s to do list. It’s overwhelming how much there is to do lately!
I’m going to put on some music. Sometimes talk radio is better when I feel like this, but it’s harder to convince myself to put that on. Why is it that when I’m already anxious, it’s hard for me to do the things I know will make me feel better?
I’m remembering items from my list of things that make my anxiety retreat–music, distraction (hmm, maybe I should focus on all the work instead of writing about the anxiety itself?), lavender (I keep a lavender essential oil spray in my cubicle), Rescue Remedy (a tin of the pastilles sits on top of my desk), breathing (I learned a new breathing technique this week, so I should practice that)…. The list is pretty long. I’m going to get started, one thing at a time.
But first, my friend just emailed me about Martha Stewart’s skin care regimen. I think reading about that will get me out of my own head a minute! She’s 72 years old and her face looks amazing.
Huh, she uses oil. I do that, too. Someone should tell her that coconut oil is way better than Johnson’s baby oil.
I need to spend more time working out. And get a facialist. And eat more veggies. Use some masks–I bet I could get some great ones from Lush. Those are the one type of Lush product I actually haven’t tried yet!
My skin felt really great after I washed it last night and then used a sample of Angels on Bare Skin (a Lush product). Then I followed up with coconut oil with one drop of tea tree oil mixed into it. I stunk (tea tree oil doesn’t smell good, in my opinion), but my skin felt great.
Hey, whaddya know, I distracted myself out of feeling anxious in about 5 minutes. I sense it slipping away. Good music, daydreaming about skin care products… who knew that would do the trick!
I’m such a spaz. But hopefully a spaz with glowing skin in the future. Not that my skin is bad now.
I’m getting back to work. This is getting kind of ridiculous, but it did the trick. Hmm, dare I hit publish?