With my husband out of the country for 4 days, I approached the idea of Mother’s Day alone with Jax with mostly excitement about having a lot of time together but also with a little bit of worry about my day potentially going awry due to some toddler tantrum or another. So I kind of split up my Mother’s Day into chunks of time all weekend, beginning on Friday. To kick off Mother’s Day weekend, I left work 2 hours early to give myself a bit of downtime and self-care.

My version of self-care includes wine, journaling, and delicious food (guacamole and black bean chips this time).

My version of self-care includes wine, journaling, and delicious food (guacamole and black bean chips this time).

Saturday, it rained in the morning, so we hung around the house a lot. Eventually, we made it to Target for crafting supplies and snacks, and then we came home and drew, glittered, and stickered handmade Mother’s Day cards for both grandmoms. We ate Oreos.

Glitter + Oreos? Sounds pretty fantastic, right?

Jax selected Disney princess stickers for his grandmoms because "they look like princesses."

Jax selected Disney princess stickers for his grandmoms because “they look like princesses.”

The rest of Saturday, we alternated laying around the house with some outside play. Around 3:30, he finally napped (boy did he need it!) on my lap. I enjoyed the snuggles while I watched something other than Disney Jr on the tv.

It was adorable. I wish he'd nap more often! I got to watch 2 episodes of Arrested Development!

It was adorable. I wish he’d nap more often! I got to watch 2 episodes of Arrested Development!

Jax fell asleep pretty easily Saturday night, and we both slept very well. I believe that’s why Sunday was so fanastic.

Fantastic may not even accurately cover how perfect my day was. I woke up an hour before Jax and sipped my coffee slowly while it was still hot. I caught up on social media and watched a bit of Mad Men (I am SO behind). When he woke up, we went to breakfast with my parents, who treated.

After that, we hung around the house for a few hours. We ended up in sweats, both of us, and cleaning the living room (what kind of a Mother’s Day is this?!). It was actually pretty fun, because in my twisted head, few things make me happier than a clean house. I had planned to take him on a long walk at a park with a long track, and then let him loose on the playground after I got a few miles in, but after we cleaned, he’d started to play by himself, quietly and contentedly, so I opted to not rock the boat. I stayed in my sweats, parked my butt on the floor, and read a magazine and listened to music instead.

My cleaning buddy

My cleaning buddy

Eventually, we got our walk in. First, I hit the Dunkin Donuts drive through for my new favorite drink: the mint chocolate chip iced coffee (milk, no sugar–in case you want to surprise me sometime!). That baby came on our walk with us. We walked for about 30 minutes and then played on the playground for another 30 before returning home. A friend came over, bringing 3 bottles of wine over as a gift for me (so nice!!), and had a glass of wine with me while Jax played on the floor nearby.

These bouncy things are so much fun! But they're very ugly.

These bouncy things are so much fun! But they’re very ugly.

Ok, so maybe I rode one of the bouncy things, too.

Ok, so maybe I rode one of the bouncy things, too.

Jax bestowed me freely with plenty of kisses and hugs all day. He was affectionate, calm, well-rested, and tantrum free all the way until bedtime. At one point, he even curled up on the couch while we listened to music and he rested without a word. This lasted so long I had to check to make sure he hadn’t gotten into the medicine cabinet! I’ve never seen him so calm, quiet, and still (while staying awake) for so long! When I’d look over to see if he’d fallen asleep, he’d flash me a huge grin.

I can count on one finger the number of times he's done this! Ha!

I can count on one finger the number of times he’s done this! Ha!

Around dinnertime, we made a frozen pizza (his favorite thing to do is pick off and eat some of the frozen cheese) because I didn’t feel like cooking. Then a different friend came over, and we had a glass of wine and played in the yard for 2 hours.

Bath at 8, bedtime at 8:30. After some snuggling with me and his newly discovered stuffed elephant (which I bought when I first found out I was pregnant with him), he was asleep by 9.

Mother’s Day was the kind of day my soul craved and exactly what I needed after two challenging days full of toddler tantrums. I am so grateful for having had such a peaceful, relaxing day with Jax. It was my best Mother’s Day yet.

 

Perhaps because I’m lazy, although I like to reframe this as busy, I’m going to opt out of writing another Disneyworld-with-a-toddler recap post and simply share some of my favorite vacation photos today.

How cute is Jax?!

We had a princess dinner in Epcot's Norway, and Jax spent most of it under the table, cowering from the princesses. I think he was intimidated by their beauty!

We had a princess dinner in Epcot’s Norway, and Jax spent most of it under the table, cowering from the princesses. I think he was intimidated by their beauty!

This is what happens to me in Epcot's Italy, with all its good food & wine!

This is what happens to me in Epcot’s Italy, with all its good food & wine!

At the end of a long day, we were all vying for a spot in the stroller. Somehow, I had the energy to push them.

At the end of a long day, we were all vying for a spot in the stroller. Somehow, I had the energy to push them.

I swear, crabs at Joe's were the only crabs I got during my vacation--and ever, TYVM.

I swear, crabs at Joe’s were the only crabs I got during my vacation–and ever, TYVM.

Me & Mom in the Magic Kingdom, first day

Me & Mom in the Magic Kingdom, first day

Mean muggin in the Magic Kingdom

Mean muggin in the Magic Kingdom

I told Jax this was the Easter Bunny. Just kidding. He loves Alice in Wonderland. He knew who it was.

I told Jax this was the Easter Bunny. Just kidding. He loves Alice in Wonderland. He knew who it was.

It's a small world, afterall... (Mom, me, Ian)

It’s a small world, afterall… (Mom, me, Ian)

Jax & the Lorax at Universal Studios. The Dr. Suess section is super awesome! We spent hours there!

Jax & the Lorax at Universal Studios. The Dr. Suess section is super awesome! We spent hours there!

My brother, Danny, and Jax, not afraid of Tic Toc Croc even one bit! (at Epcot)

My brother, Danny, and Jax, not afraid of Tic Toc Croc even one bit! (at Epcot)

Which is your favorite photo?

 

Today, my friend A’Driane is marrying her love, Bert, in the cutest chapel I’ve ever seen.

 

Isn’t it gorgeous?

I’ve compiled some of the things A’Driane has said on her blog about her feelings for Bert into a poem to honor this day. I’ve used A’Driane’s words because they’re as beautiful as she is.

Bloom

My heart just swells with a joy I haven’t allowed myself to feel in a very, very long time,

Dancing, laughing, smiling…I’m giving myself fully to the freedom,

Starting over and changing our approach to life…choosing to live life instead of just surviving it,

The gift of love I’ve found in our family,

Embraced with open arms & a bottle of Merlot,

To have someone see the value and worth I see in myself and decide to embrace and cherish it, cherish me, is the one gift I’ve begged for since I was a child and never received-until now.

Bloom where you are planted.

Reach toward the sun, like I am.

A’Driane, my wish for you and Bert today is that you always see the sunshine together. Congratulations on your wedding day. Xo

(Note: Other friends of A’Driane and Bert have also devoted blog posts to the celebration of their wedding day. You can access links to all of the posts here.)

 

I can hear my therapist’s voice in my head, saying “Opposite action!” That’s a dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) skill she taught me a few months ago, and apparently one I use often without realizing I’m using it. What is the opposite action DBT skill? Marsha Linehan, who is the founder of DBT, said, “Every emotion has an action.” She also said that “You can actually change the emotion by changing the action.”

Here is an example: You’re depressed. All your depression wants you to do is lay in bed and watch mindless television shows all day long in your pajamas. That’s what feels good to depression. Instead, you do the opposite and get in the shower, get dressed, and go out. Presto, you feel better–even if just an iota better–than you’d feel if you had stayed in bed.

Linehan said:

One of the ways that you can change your emotion is to just reverse the circle. We just start with action that is opposite and that circle starts going in the other way. And the emotion starts going down.

That’s opposite action in a nutshell. It’s like removing some of the power from the negative emotion, don’t you think?

And it’s also like a big “eff you” to your depression (or other emotion you’re trying to shake).

I do not like running, but I’m doing it anyway–because reaching a goal feels good. I’m continuing this weekly blog hop even though I don’t feel much like patting myself on the back these days–because it is good for me to treat myself with kindness, especially when I’m feeling low (which I am, thanks to this awful, cold, gray, rainy/icy stretch of weather we’ve been having). Those are the first two things that come to mind when I ask myself what I’m doing right this week.

So, for now, the blog hop must go on…because I don’t feel like doing it. But your comments and links are like…dare I say itsunshine on a cloudy day!




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Today’s post commences round three of I’m Doing It Right, and I must admit I’m losing steam trying to find things about which to pat myself on the back. The first thing that comes to mind after some deep digging is that I haven’t quit the Couch to 5K program yet. It’s been only a week–I completed week one yesterday–but given the amount of negative self-talk I do the entire length of the workout, it’s actually impressive I’m still keeping up with it. This week will be the true test, as our mild winter is taking a turn toward the blustery, with temps plummeting below freezing every day and even some snow forecasted. Yikes!

Like most moms I know, I’m treading water when it comes to balancing my own needs with those of my family (and job and so on). But I’m doing okay, making sure I get in a little self-care each day, even if it’s a mere 15 minutes’ worth, which is a success in my book! It’s hard, I mean with all my to-do lists, plans, chores, and errands. But I’m taking care of myself and understanding my limitations. For example, I know that if I don’t either get some fresh air and sunshine or spend a half hour in front of the SAD lamp, I feel (& act) grouchy; so I’m forcing myself to do these things that are good for me, even if it means putting something else on hold–like laundry. It may not sound like a success or something to be proud of, unless you’ve struggled with perfectionism and control freakishness!

I’ve been spending a lot less time on Facebook. Go ahead & make fun of this if you must, but it’s a challenge for me to stop logging in several times per day to see what everyone’s up to. However, I am happier when I don’t know what’s going on in so-and-so’s marriage, when I can’t see potentially passive-aggressive status updates and wonder if they’re about me or someone I know, and when I miss all the political talk.

I’m asserting myself and going after the things I want. I can’t exactly elaborate on this at the moment, but it’s healthy and good and will hopefully pay off sooner or later!

That’s all I’ve got so far this week. And it’s enough, don’t you think?




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