Call it post-vacation blues, the higher latitude & lack of sunshine, being back to reality, having way too much on my mind…. Call it whatever. But it doesn’t feel good. I’ve spent most of this week sad, depressed, anxious, PMS-y, and basically every other negative emotion you can think of. And even though I have tons of skills under my belt to help me handle this rough patch, nothing has really helped except distraction (for example, having a friend over for dinner, reading a book, or going for a long drive).
Until this morning, when I rediscovered, or actually kind of remembered, how much of an influence music has always had on my moods. When I’m feeling down, my gut and my head want sad songs. I want to cry along with the music because in some ways this is cathartic. Sometimes, usually when the mood first hits, I don’t want to push it away immediately; I want to feel it. But after a few days of feeling it deeply, I’m ready for something new, and I’m sure my friends and family are, too! Ha! So anyway, last night I made myself yet another mix CD for the car, consisting of songs that make me want to move my body and/or sing along loudly. Songs that don’t remind me of anyone or anything that could possibly bring me down.
I listened to the CD this morning on my commute, and I sang loudly and I dance-drove for 4 or 5 songs. And man, it was just enough. It felt great. It was bliss. I nearly drove right on by my workplace.
When I woke up this morning, I stayed in bed a while, obsessing on the things in my brain that were making me sad or anxious. I looked at the time repeatedly, wondering how late I would be for work because I couldn’t bring myself to leave my bed and start my day. It’s a few hours later now, and I’m feeling the opposite of that. Optimistic, even (maybe), about what might happen today–not that there is anything special planned, it’s just that you never know what the day will bring.
So here’s a playlist of a few of the songs I put on my mix CD–the handful of songs that changed my mood today.