Jesse Rutherford

Jesse Rutherford, from The Neighbourhood (my view from the balcony)

Last Tuesday night reminded me of two things: First, I have forgotten how much I enjoy seeing bands live. Second, age is just a number, and I’m not as old as I think I am, having been so caught up in my number (which is 35).

I’ll never forget being mistaken, at age 19, for my best friend’s neighbor, Lori, while I was in line at a CVS. The next time I saw Lori, I told her about it, and she had the brilliant idea that I could have her driver’s license so that I could get into shows that were for attendees 21 & over. In other words, I could use her legit NJ license to enter bars where all my favorite bands often played. Because I had a musician boyfriend at the time, as well as lots of friends who were 21, I can’t accurately describe to you how brilliant I thought this plan was. I accepted her offer with tremendous excitement and had some amazing concert experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise had. Like drinking a beer with Elliott Smith or hugging Mary Timony from Helium.

I’m showing my age now, aren’t I?

Anyway, after my musician boyfriend and I broke up, the number of shows I attended decreased dramatically, though I still went to plenty during my college and even post-college years. But then motherhood happened, and I was lucky if I made it to even one show a year.

Jax is about to turn 4 now and I’m entering a new phase (for me)—a more independent one. I’m finally beginning to recall who I used to be before I was fortunate enough to become a mother. I was a girl who loved seeing bands live. And last Tuesday night I got to see my current favorite band, The Neighbourhood. Opening up for them at a beautiful venue in Philadelphia called the Union Transfer was The 1975, whose music I didn’t love, but who put on such a great show that I’ve been listening to them nonstop ever since. The singer, with his UK accent, was scrumptious, even with his 90s hair. And he looked up to the balcony where I was standing and he said “Hello there” directly to me.  ;)

So yeah, now I’m crushing on a lead singer just like I were 19 again.

Because I anticipated being out way past my usual 9:00 bedtime (and I obviously think I’m an old lady), I scheduled a half vacation day for the day after the show and planned to go into the office around lunchtime so I could spend my morning napping once Jax went to daycare. But I managed to get 6 hours of good sleep under my belt the night before, so I didn’t neep to nap the next day. I spent the morning doing what I felt like doing, and it was bliss.

The lesson I learned last week is that self-care can come even in the form of seeing a concert and staying up late. In fact, maybe it’s a fantastic form of self-care for someone who has occasionally felt over the past 4 years that she lost her identity a little bit. Music is soothing. I just hadn’t realized the connection between seeing a band live and how good I would feel afterward.

You create a community with music, not just at concerts but by talking about it with your friends.”

~ David Byrne


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  2. I love music too and I completely get that feeling when you see a live band!! It always makes me so happy and I get completely lost in it :) So glad you had a great night and were able to do something for you, so important!
    Andrea recently posted..poolside

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