This post is for A’Driane, Kim, Charity, and all of the women I know (and those I don’t know) who are suffering from postpartum depression and/or mental illness and can’t see the light. There is light. And it’s all around you.

The light is the #ppdchat group. The light is Katherine Stone and Postpartum Progress. The light is Yael Saar and the Mama’s Comfort Camp. The light is a whole community of fierce stigma-fighters, right at your side. The light is bright, it is always present (someone is always around), it cannot be extinguished. Not by the lies your brain is telling you. Not by people who don’t understand. Not even by you, even when you want to give up when life seems way too hard. You don’t give up. You keep fighting. Because you are STRONG. You are more than your thoughts. You are the light, too.

I only began listening to Mumford & Sons with the recent release of their album, Babel. A few weeks ago, my friend and fellow Warrior Mom, Lindsay, mentioned that their song “Ghosts That We Knew” reminded her of the PPDchat mommas.

I couldn’t bring myself to listen to the song until this morning. I haven’t been in a strong place myself lately, and I worried that the song would bring a torrent of tears. Even though I have recovered from postpartum depression, I am still bruised from it. I feel the ripples sometimes. And the women I got to know during the time I was suffering are my friends. We’re like war buddies.

This morning, I felt strong enough to hear the song and listen to the words and think of my friends. Although the song did make me cry, I feel okay because it also reminded me of my strength & yours.

” So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light”

“Ghosts That We Knew”

You saw my pain, washed out in the rain
Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
But you saw no fault no cracks in my heart
And you knelt beside my hope torn apart
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
And we’ll live a long life
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
‘Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me we’ll be alright

So lead me back
Turn south from that place
And close my eyes to my recent disgrace
‘Cause you know my call
And we’ll share my all
And Now children come and they will hear me roar
So give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
‘Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me we’ll be alright

But hold me still bury my heart on the cold
And hold me still bury my heart next to yours

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
‘Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold on with all of my might
Just promise me we’ll be alright

But the ghosts that we knew made us black and all blue
But we’ll live a long life
And the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
And we’ll live a long life

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15 Comments

  1. What a wonderful post, so honest and open. And I love this song!
    frelle recently posted..Longing To Belong

  2. You have us.

    We will give you hope.

    I never believed I would get better. Never.

    And I did.

    Believe me. Email me. Call me. I’ll tell you every day if you want me to.

    I promise.

  3. Thank you so much for thinking of me friend. You truly made my morning. This is a beautiful song and it touched my heart immensely. You’re a wonderful person.
    Thank you for making me want to fight a little harder today.
    xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted..They’re Just Thoughts. Just Thoughts.

  4. Jaime, this is so beautiful. Holding your hand through the ripples. We will get there. This song is such a beautiful message of hope.
    Jenny recently posted..My brother

  5. Amazing post. Thank you for this. Pulling up the song on Spotify shortly. You’re right. Our light? Can NEVER be extinguished. (hugs)
    Lauren Hale recently posted..#PPDChat Topic: Rock in a pond: The many ripples of Postpartum Mood Disorders

  6. Very nice post and pretty lyrics.

  7. Sending you love, sweetie. Just keep shining your light. You never know who you’re helping.
    story recently posted..In which I get all ranty and bring the hammer down

  8. Nicely written, I have to check this song out.

  9. Thank you for this post. We need that reminder sometimes.
    Lots of love and hugs to you xoxo
    Mirjam recently posted..Vintage finds and flowers

  10. WOW! This song feels pretty much right on… I’ll have to share it with my hubby. Thank you!

  11. Pingback: Postpartum Voice of the Week: @jamesandjax’s “Ghosts That We Knew (Hope in the Darkness)” | My Postpartum Voice

  12. Beautiful. And so appropriate.
    Margaret (@mammacockatoo) recently posted..Fit for a fatty

  13. So beautiful & this song is great. I completely get what you said about still being brusied from it even though you have recovered. Thanks so much for sharing.
    Andrea recently posted..photo dump: our last two weeks

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