I had exactly the kind of weekend my heart and soul needed. On Friday, I left work early and met up with one of my best friends for appetizers and wine at a bar with outdoor seating we had all to ourselves. It was relaxing to sit under the clouds and sun, feeling the breeze as we sipped wine and had a real heart-to-heart conversation—the kind you can have only with your besties.
With this particular friend, it amazes me that we’ve known each other for 21 years now, since we were angsty teens publishing our own poetry in a zine and selling it in high school. Our friendship lapsed a few times over the years, like friendships tend to do, but I am so fortunate that we are closer now than ever. This kind of friendship doesn’t come around every day and doesn’t always last, let alone grow as ours has.
Saturday, I let my husband talk me into having a little backyard dinner party with a handful of friends and their kids, kind of an Oktoberfest celebration. This meant cleaning the house and weeding the garden first, but that’s ok—it needed it. And I had help in the garden from another of my best friends, who let me attack more weeds than was necessary just because it felt good (destroying maybe a little grass and making a bit of a mess in the process). Afterward, the hubs, the friend, and Jax and I took a drive to the Amish Market for groceries for the dinner party.
It was a perfect night to eat in the yard, the women at one table, the men at another right beside us, and the kids on a blanket in the grass. At dusk, we lit candles and popped champagne. Soon thereafter, we set up the kids in the house with a movie and a blanket. Conversation and booze flowed. It felt good to laugh so much.
Sunday morning, I had plans with another best friend. We laughed, cried, and had decent coffee. I left breakfast feeling grateful for the people in my life. And I realized that it is necessary to lean on my friends and that it feels good, not weak, to let them be there for me. I try so hard to be strong, to not be so negative in front of my friends because I am afraid they’ll get tired of it and abandon me. But it seems to me after this weekend, and after the comments you guys have been leaving me on my September post, that it’s silly to think like that.