Yesterday was the kiddo’s 3-year well visit and flu shot at the pediatrician’s office, which meant I spent most of my morning fighting anxiety because I anticipated more mega-tantrums. I scheduled the appointment for 3:00 pm–in other words, post-nap, when the likelihood of a tantrum is lower than usual. I made sure my purse had ample snacks for us both. I also ensured he’d recently gone to the bathroom when I picked him up from daycare at 2:30. And I did one other thing I’m a little embarrassed to admit.

I went to Target that afternoon and bought him an $11 toy–a Michaelangelo Ninja Turtle–I could use to “incentivize” (as Miranda from Not Super…Just Mom taught me it’s called) good behavior at the appointment.

On the drive to the appointment, I told Jax he had to go to the doctor for a checkup, and that the doctor would listen to his heart and look in his ears, just like Doc McStuffins does to her stuffed animals! I added that if he didn’t fuss and if he helped the doctor do those things, I would give him a special present I bought for him.

He said, “what it is, mom?” I think it’s adorable that he mixes up his words sometimes. But I digress.

Wait, I’m not done digressing yet! A few weeks ago, I hadn’t even heard of Doc McStuffins, and now my kid is obsessed with that show and the related games on Disney Junior’s website. He’s been using my kitchen utensils as his medical implements, so I think it’s time to buy him a toy set for Christmas. On second thought, that would have made a great bribe gift yesterday! I am so thankful for Doc McStuffins, because I credit the show with how well Jax handled the appointment. (I also appreciate that Doc’s mother, rather than her father, is a doctor.)

Jax was awesome at the appointment. For the first time ever, he stood on the scale the first time he was asked and with no tears. He let the nurse measure his height and take his temperature without a complete meltdown. He was pleasant to the doctor and let her complete the entire evaluation (which was way more thorough than any of his other well visits, I might add!) without any hesitation.

And then the nurse brought in the flu shot. Uhoh!

Yet even that didn’t evoke the response I had feared it would. He let me hold him–and his arms–while she administered the injection. He cried, of course, but it didn’t last more than 5 to 10 seconds. And when she put a band-aid on him, no freaking out! Amazing! I have the one child on this planet who HATES band-aids, no matter what cute characters are on them. I was nearly as afraid of his potential reaction to that than I was to the flu shot!

Of course after the nurses were done, we practically ran out to the car, where his present awaited him. I told him how happy I was that he didn’t fuss for the doctor or the nurse. I think he was pleased with himself, too.

Lessons learned:

  1. It’s not called bribery, it’s called incentivizing–and it freaking works!
  2. Incentives do not always have to be toys. Miranda reminded me incentives can include doing things, too, like watching a favorite show, having a cookie, or reading a book.
  3. I underestimated my kid. I’ll try not to do that again.
  4. Just because he had probably 10 tantrums last week doesn’t automatically mean he’ll have any this week (knocking on wood). Kids aren’t consistent.

Do you use incentives for your kids’ good behavior? How has this worked for you?

 

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6 Comments

  1. I love it! So glad it went well, and I’ll have to remember to incentivize if needed ;-)

  2. They are the funniest little creatures aren’t they? And by funny, I mean completely unpredictable! And then their unpredictability causes our anxiety to rise with not knowing ‘what’s gonna happen’. There have been times where I’ve been so worried about an outcome & it’s gone so fine & the times I don’t worry are the times I wonder ‘what the hell is that all about?’ Bloody threenagers. Oh & those bribes – they are rewards for their good behaviour & rewards for us seeing them so happy after something distressing for us too. Love you lots. So glad it all went well xoxo
    Yuz recently posted..Spam invaders

  3. So glad that it went so well! And I think it’s really funny that he hates band-aids :) Ughh the amount of money we waste on band-aids in my house! We definitely use incentives here, a show, books & ice cream are the big ones :)
    Andrea recently posted..first day back at preschool

  4. First, I think Doc McStuffins has been a boon to parents everywhere when it comes to visiting the doctor’s office. Seriously. The AAP should send Disney Junior a plaque!

    Second, I’m glad the incentive worked! So, so glad you had a good visit to the doctor. Slightly excited Joshua hasn’t learned about the Ninja Turtles yet! :)
    Miranda (Not Super…Just Mom) recently posted..Emma, 5 months

  5. In teacher talk we call it “positive reinforcement.” When it sounds professional, I don’t question it. =) Bottom line? It works. Gotta do what works!
    Susan recently posted..PPD and Marriage

  6. I agree. My thanks for doing such a good job. I’ll definitely come again to see what’s new and recommend my acquaintenances about your website.

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