If I could change one thing about myself, it would be this: I wish I were satisfied. I’m one of those people–those possibly very annoying, sad people–who are never happy with anything. I feel like everything and everyone can be better. Some would call that pessimism or negativity. And they may be right! I’m not the most optimistic person on the planet, that’s for sure.
But sometimes I wonder if instead of labeling myself that way I should instead consider my lack of satisfaction as a beneficial quality. I am afraid to be stagnant, to stop growing as a person, to stop changing. I am of the mindset that it is good to be ever-evolving. I look up to those who seek–and cause–positive change in their lives. I am continuously on the lookout for growth–ways to improve myself, to improve you, and to improve the world around us. Again, some may find that annoying. But I think it’s important. I just don’t want to settle,and I don’t want you to settle either!
Yet with all that said, getting back to my initial sentence above about wishing I were more satisfied, it’s still somehow true. I think there must be a balance between being satisfied and being open to change. Scratch that–to creating change.
I never want to be complacent. Yet it’s all I want, at the same time. How do I work out a balance there?
I get so damn tired of feeling like things aren’t good enough or that I (or my relationships or my job or my car or whatever) could be much better. It makes me feel helpless and hopeless, and that’s no good. Shouldn’t I feel empowered to create change instead, to do something to make things better?
Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life thinking about change but never creating it?
Can you relate to this, or am I a total freak?