It might be premature to blog this, but I can’t help it (and I needed something to post today)! I think Jax has officially weaned. It’s been a few days since he nursed to sleep—since Friday night, to be exact.
And since I know you’re wondering, he’s 2 years old and 9 months.
I’m pretty damn proud of how long we breastfed, but I have to say I am also happy to be finished. And I’m guessing not a whole lot of breastfeeding, AP-friendly mommas say that.
For the record, I fully expect the sadness to kick in soon. Any bets on when you think I’ll shed some tears over being done breastfeeding my baby?
I’ve been thinking about weaning since Jax turned 1 year old—like most American mothers, as Jax approached his first birthday I felt pressured (by just about everyone I know and even those I don’t know!) to wean him. It was hard to tune out the voices and stand firm in my decision not to discontinue our wonderful experience based merely on a number or a date on the calendar.
I’m so glad he wasn’t ready back then and neither was I. I’d have missed all the fun of nursing a toddler! The gymnurstics alone were good for more than a few laughs.
But after he turned 2, I started to feel pangs of “oh-my-god-I’m-so-ready-to-be-done”-ness. I started to have little talks with Jax, hinting (and sometimes straight-up saying) that he couldn’t have “nummies” forever. I plotted and experimented with how to get him to sleep at night without nursing. We changed up our nighttime routine many times, adding and subtracting elements as I learned what settles him down and what only riles him up more. I read countless articles and blogs about weaning.
Last Thursday night as we lay in his bed with the lights out, we talked about how he’s such a big boy now and nummies need a break and he doesn’t need them to fall asleep anymore. He agreed to “just snuggle” instead. But a few minutes later, he asked for nummies and when I said no, he cried. My heart ached, and I gave in and nursed him for 5 minutes. Friday night was an exact repeat.
But then we went to Washington, DC, on Saturday. After a long day walking around, Jax seemed pretty worn out. So I turned on HBO in the hotel room and snuggled up to Jax as we watched one of the Harry Potter flicks, just to let us both unwind before bed. About 10 minutes into the movie (which obviously was wayyy over his head, but he loved it anyway), he passed out with his hand on my chest.
Last night, he asked if he could watch another movie in bed with me. I gave in because I was so tired (and I love watching television in bed, though I sure hope I don’t pass this down to my child). He did not nurse and was asleep 10 minutes into Babe: A Pig in the City.
I’m not crazy about replacing nursing with movies in bed, but sometimes you have to pick your battles. As a child (and even now as an adult), I fell asleep best with a tv on. It calmed me—the soft flickering and low volume helped me fall asleep quickly. I’m not saying I want television to replace breastfeeding for my son, who isn’t even 3 yet. I have all kinds of new anxieties cropping up about letting him fall asleep to a television, believe me.
But just for a few days until I know for sure that he has weaned, I’m allowing this new special treat with the intention of stopping the habit before it forms. I can’t help it—part of me feels a little guilty for denying him something he finds so comforting. I admit this.
I’m going to chalk this one up to a parenting lesson I am sure to be learning very shortly!
I think I might also bake him a cake to celebrate weaning. Should I make one of those boob-shaped cakes?!
Oh honey. I’m proud of you and sending you love. This a big step forward for you and Jax, and I know you will find a new routine that you will both be happy and comfortable with.
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Sounds like he was ready though :) if not I think the transition would not have went so smooth! And my kids get to watch a half hour of tv before bed with their sleep timer set. Honestly I don’t mind because the are running all day with school and sports and chores that I feel ok with it if that’s what they want. I think it’s personal preference. I don’t fall asleep to tv at all….Happy (belated) Mothers Day :)
Thinking of you. I know how big a step it is, and how it’s so bittersweet. My first two weaned at 19mo and almost 4yo respectively, and both were difficult in their own ways, due to completely different circumstances. #3 is now 19mo and still going strong, but who knows when she will stop. Definitely no sign yet. ;-)
I think it’s perfectly natural to feel both happiness and a pang of missing something when such a big milestone is reached, and it sounds to me like you’re both transitioning well. A little bit of TV isn’t going to hurt him – it’s not like you’re using it as a permanent distraction or child-minder. :-)
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I am so proud of you! YEs definitely a boob cake is in order.
And wine.
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I vote “hell yeah!” on the boobie cake! LOL
Though it’s not the same, I felt awful for taking no1′s binky away when she was two. Felt cruel to deny her something she loved so much. But it was time. She doesn’t even remember using them now.
Does Jax have a comfort object he loves? That could help…maybe make the transition easier?
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I’m so proud of you guys! For doing what comes naturally for as long as you both wanted to.
You will miss it, as you’ll miss everything about his babyhood as it passes. But what a beautiful milestone. And breastfeeding has bonded you both so closely for life, even if that stage might be over now.
And you’ll find other ways to bond closely with him. I admit that I love when my little independent sleeper wants to crawl into bed with us! So just enjoy the tv in bed time for now!
Sending you love and hugs!
Congrats on doing it so long and on a smooth transition!
I am not ready to be done, but I am ready to cut back. There is a definite ebb and tide. A few weeks ago, I was getting much more sleep as Sebastian was sleeping longer stretches (in our bed) and nursing less. He seems to be back into more nursing now though – Not sure if he just wakes up more often or what – and it’s a bit exhausting. To the point that I hate getting into bed because I know I’ll get 2 hours before I’m woken up. Even though I can fall back asleep while nursing, I’d rather not. I miss curling up with my husband. I snuggle Sebastian throughout the day and it would be nice to just get to sleep, close to my husband. My husband talks about missing Sebastian overnight and I wish I had that. To be so excited to see his face when I wake up, instead of just tired. But I know it’s not forever, and try to remind myself how much MORE tired I was just 6 months ago.
I love watching TV in bed too. And in the morning to wake up, which I have definitely passed on to Sebastian. Oh well. There are worse things. As for ‘replacing’ nummies with movies… There is something nice about getting JUST cuddles, yeah? I love nursing but always feel like it’s not entirely about ME, whether or not that’s actually true. Playing or snuggling without nursing always feels extra special.
Congrats again! And fuck outside pressure. I’ve only had a couple of suggestions to wean but both were from close family and especially stung. Strangers/online friends seem to be a lot more tactful and simply curious.
hey! congrats!!
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Movies for now…books tomorrow- whatever works I say!
I love the way you think, Erica!
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