He is so proud. (and cute)

I was a nervous, anxious mess last night as I rocked Jax to sleep at 8:45, as always, in the glider we’ve used since his first day at home. By 9, he was out cold, so I laid him in his new Twin bed, complete with Star Wars sheets and a Darth Vader blanket. His stuffed animals lined the bookcase headboard above him. I thought about climbing into bed with him, knowing how much better I would sleep at his side instead of in my room down the hall, awake and listening for the thump all night long. I envisioned about 10 different (vivid) ways he could fall out of bed and injure himself in my absence, despite all the babyproofing we did as we rearranged his room yesterday. Nothing is as good as a momma’s protection, though, I thought.

But in the end I decided not to let my anxiety get the better of me. I thought it would be better for Jax if he woke up in his bed alone, rather than to think I’d be spending every night there with him.

It was pretty freaking hard to close the door on him and tiptoe to my room. But I did it.

Around 1:30 am, I woke up with a start. My head was throbbing (thanks to a leftover hangover from my visit to Dogfish Head the other night). I lay in bed for a half hour, not wanting to move but needing some Advil. By 2-ish, I got up, took some meds for my head, and checked on Jax.

Picture a Norman Rockwell painting of a little boy asleep in bed, all tucked in. That’s exactly what I saw when I peeked in–shining my iPhone on him so I could see him!

I went back to bed. I tossed and turned until 3:30, when I traipsed down the hall to check on him again. Gotta love anxiety.

Again, he was in the same position, my sleeping angel.

I laid in bed with him because at this point I was just desperate for some sleep.

At 6, I woke up in his bed and saw that he still hadn’t moved an inch. So I quietly left and went back to my own bed. I did not want him to wake up with me in his bed, too. I really want Jax to learn how to sleep all on his own, after years of part-time co-sleeping with mommy.

Before he’d fallen asleep last night, I told him “You stay in your big-boy bed until the sun comes up, and if you wake up in the dark, you can yell ‘Mommy!’ and I’ll come in.” I have no idea whether that helped or would have helped had he woken up. But I’ll be repeating it nightly, that’s for sure.

Around 6:55 or so, I heard him softly say “Mommy!” So I ran in there like I was on fire! haha

I said “Good morning! You slept in your big-boy bed all night! Yay! I’m so happy!” and I hugged him and kissed him and I could tell my boy was SO proud of himself.

I could not have asked for a better night. (Well, some restful sleep for me would have been great, but whatev.)

And this is from a kid who, on the average night, takes 30-45 minutes to fall asleep and then wakes once or twice in the night, wanting to sleep in my bed.

Amazing. And I really hope I’m not jinxing tonight by raving about how awesome last night was. I’ll report in tomorrow–probably on Twitter, where I usually rant & rave!

Happy Monday!


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  1. Yaaaaaaay! So proud of both of you! Congratulations! I hope the wonderfulness continues.

  2. I’m not sure who I am more proud of :)
    It was a big step for both of you!! You’ve prepared him well, I’m not surprised he did just fine. Sure over the next few weeks you might get better nights of sleep and he not so much, but this is a huge step. It is for sure a sign that he was ready. Any stumbles that appear WILL even out. He’s growing up!…Oh No ;)
    Great job mommy!!
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  3. WOOHOOO!!!!!!!!

    Nothing like a good night’s sleep for the kiddo. I remember lining the floor next to Jake’s bed with pillows, just in case.

    What a big step for the big boy!
    Kathleen recently posted..Tag…I’m it

  4. I am so glad that he did so well!! We had a time with Chase…he was all “Hey I’m not caged in??” and he took advantage.
    So go you guys!!
    Kimberly recently posted..Arcana Dea Is Something Beautifully Hopeful

    • Ouch, Kim. Is he any better now? Or does he still occasionally escape? I keep worrying Jax will start that at any time. I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying, truth be told.

  5. Congratulations on both of you. Will surely enjoy a nice sleep.
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  6. That is awesome!

  7. This day was a long time coming for you and him both, I know. SO SO SO happy for you guys.
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  8. I couldn’t be happier for you. Such a cute big boy!
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  9. Awesome!! I would totally go spy on him every hour on the hour. I’m sure I will when Sebastian transitions to his own room. I am already paranoid because his room (which is now just a play room) has windows facing the parking lot… I really wish that he had a room, like, in the middle of the apartment and sharing zero walls with the outside world. I don’t want to be that mom but in this case I so am. Thank god (in this case) for my super annoying dog who barks to alert me of EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS within 50 feet of our apartment.

    We are still co-sleeping and we have a twin bed pushed up against our queen-sized bed, both just on box springs on the floor. (Sebastian rolled all the way from his bed once, over ours, onto the floor – THUD – and kept sleeping!) So I am really nervous about him being in his own room but having him in a bed is no big deal. He hasn’t been in a ‘crib’ since he was in the co-sleeper, which we stopped as soon as he could pull himself up. I really like the floor bed but sometimes I do wish I could stick him in a crib half-asleep and let him put himself out. If I try to slip out of the room before he is all the way asleep now, he gets up and follows me right out! (He also sometimes just toddles out of the bedroom while his dad and I are still up watching TV in the next room. It is super creepy when he just shows up out of nowhere! So try to be prepared for that. Sorry, anxiety.)
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    • Janine, it would definitely freak me out to be hanging out watching tv and have a quiet little boy sneak up on me. Thank goodness that’s all you guys were doing! haha

      I can’t wait to read about Sebastian’s transition when the time comes.

  10. What a big boy you’ve got there!!
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