I was a nervous, anxious mess last night as I rocked Jax to sleep at 8:45, as always, in the glider we’ve used since his first day at home. By 9, he was out cold, so I laid him in his new Twin bed, complete with Star Wars sheets and a Darth Vader blanket. His stuffed animals lined the bookcase headboard above him. I thought about climbing into bed with him, knowing how much better I would sleep at his side instead of in my room down the hall, awake and listening for the thump all night long. I envisioned about 10 different (vivid) ways he could fall out of bed and injure himself in my absence, despite all the babyproofing we did as we rearranged his room yesterday. Nothing is as good as a momma’s protection, though, I thought.
But in the end I decided not to let my anxiety get the better of me. I thought it would be better for Jax if he woke up in his bed alone, rather than to think I’d be spending every night there with him.
It was pretty freaking hard to close the door on him and tiptoe to my room. But I did it.
Around 1:30 am, I woke up with a start. My head was throbbing (thanks to a leftover hangover from my visit to Dogfish Head the other night). I lay in bed for a half hour, not wanting to move but needing some Advil. By 2-ish, I got up, took some meds for my head, and checked on Jax.
Picture a Norman Rockwell painting of a little boy asleep in bed, all tucked in. That’s exactly what I saw when I peeked in–shining my iPhone on him so I could see him!
I went back to bed. I tossed and turned until 3:30, when I traipsed down the hall to check on him again. Gotta love anxiety.
Again, he was in the same position, my sleeping angel.
I laid in bed with him because at this point I was just desperate for some sleep.
At 6, I woke up in his bed and saw that he still hadn’t moved an inch. So I quietly left and went back to my own bed. I did not want him to wake up with me in his bed, too. I really want Jax to learn how to sleep all on his own, after years of part-time co-sleeping with mommy.
Before he’d fallen asleep last night, I told him “You stay in your big-boy bed until the sun comes up, and if you wake up in the dark, you can yell ‘Mommy!’ and I’ll come in.” I have no idea whether that helped or would have helped had he woken up. But I’ll be repeating it nightly, that’s for sure.
Around 6:55 or so, I heard him softly say “Mommy!” So I ran in there like I was on fire! haha
I said “Good morning! You slept in your big-boy bed all night! Yay! I’m so happy!” and I hugged him and kissed him and I could tell my boy was SO proud of himself.
I could not have asked for a better night. (Well, some restful sleep for me would have been great, but whatev.)
And this is from a kid who, on the average night, takes 30-45 minutes to fall asleep and then wakes once or twice in the night, wanting to sleep in my bed.
Amazing. And I really hope I’m not jinxing tonight by raving about how awesome last night was. I’ll report in tomorrow–probably on Twitter, where I usually rant & rave!