On Fathers, Dads, & Happy Distractions

I haven’t blogged here about some of the things locked deep inside my heart, and I’m still not even sure I want to blog about them. But for the sake of transparency, and so you can know me a little better, here goes nothing. I can always delete, right?!

I have a Dad, but  I do not know my Father. Not anymore, anyway. We had occasional weekend visits when I was a child, then we had a weird fight when I was 15 that I’m still to this day confused about, and then we had no contact for 8 years. When I was 23, he came around for a few months, but that ended badly, too. And since then, we haven’t been in touch at all in 11 or 12 years (hey math nerds, how old does this make me now?). So basically, I’ve lived more than half of my life without him. I’m used to it by now, and it bothers me only once in a while. And I don’t even really blame him (that much) anymore, but that’s a whole other story for another day. What helps is that I have a great Dad. Technically a stepfather, but he feels like a Dad, so I call him “Dad.” He’s been actively involved in my life since I was 5 years old.  In other words, a long freaking time.

In addition to having a great Dad, I was blessed for much of my life with a grandfather (aka, “Pop”) who treated me like another daughter. In fact, I felt so much like his child at times that his wife, my grandmom (aka, “Nan”), even referred to him in conversation as “your father” sometimes by accident. I thought it was endearing and special when she slipped up like that. Gave me the warm fuzzies.

Pop died on February 13, 2004, after a struggle with myelodysplastic syndrome (a disease similar to leukemia).

Most years, that anniversary hits me hard and I’m a bit of a mess on that day. Some years I’m able to reflect on the time we spent together—and there was a lot of it, thankfully—and feel at peace. But every year, I dread the date as it approaches and I never know whether it will pass easily or not.

What I do know this year is that I’ll probably start out the day with a visit to the cemetary after I take Jax to daycare, because visiting his resting spot to talk to him brings me peace, although it is sad, too.

But after that, I also know that the rest of my day will be good because I’m spending it with someone who is important to me. My best friend, Dacia (from thirtythreeandcounting.com) will be with me on February 13 this year. She’s visiting from Texas that weekend. We have a girls’ day planned for the 13th, so I’ll be tramping around Philly with her all day.

I cannot tell you how happy it makes my heart to think I’ll be blissfully distracted with one of my favorite people in the world. We’re already brainstorming vegan-friendly restaurants to hit up.

So what else should Dacia & I do all day? What is your ultimate girls’ day in a big city?