This post is part of the breastfeeding blog hop over at Life With Levi. Check it out!
I thought I’d seen the last of my trusty ol’ pump back in September 2010. But then my company sent me to New Orleans for a conference, and I was gone for 3 nights/4 days, requiring me to reunite with my pump.
It didn’t go well.
Fortunately, I wasn’t pumping to save the milk for Jax, as he’d given up drinking expressed milk ages ago (I have no idea why). I was merely pumping to maintain my supply while we were apart for so long for the first time ever, in case Jax wanted to pick up where we left off upon my return (I wasn’t sure if he’d wean while I was away).
But no matter when I pumped in New Orleans or for how long, I could barely get more than 2 ounces at a time, from both breasts combined. Ouch. I had even relied on playing a slide show of photos of Jax while I pumped, which was my trick back when I pumped daily at work. I couldn’t understand it–my supply was excellent, so why was I going up to 10 hours at a time and then getting only 1-2 ounces?! Mind-boggling, right?
I started to worry that maybe my supply wasn’t what I thought it’d been for all this time. Maybe Jax is barely getting anything. How would I even know if this were the case? His speech isn’t exactly eloquent enough at 22 months to say, “Yo mom! Where’s all the milk?” My mommy guilt reared its ugly head–is this why he’s so skinny? He nurses all the time, but is he just not getting enough? Oh, the questions!
Then it dawned on me that my body shouldn’t be expected to respond to the pump, having not pumped in 9 months. Surely that’s the reason, right? And not that my supply is practically gone?
Jax shows no indication of wanting to wean. He is still obsessed with “nummies.” So I guess my supply is fine or he’s using nursing as comfort, rather than as nourishment.
Oh, breastfeeding. Even when it’s easy, there are always challenges and questions. But I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.